It is May and in the United States we have a day to pay tribute to mothers. It is interesting, because moms are both beloved and despised. Young children adore their moms, as teens - not so much. All the good things about one’s life are often attributed to moms and likewise, for a life gone awry, any therapist would tell you that moms are usually an accountable topic. My own mom once said, “moms are blamed for everything.”
A pregnant woman may become mom-like as she get closer to delivery. She may begin “nesting”, buying gear and creating a baby space. She is often conscious of what she eats and drinks - and whether it is good or bad for the baby. A pregnant women will act protectively, holding her hand to her belly. She has begun to realize that she is not alone. She is responsible for another human being, a fetus, a baby, a little person growing inside of her.
When a baby is born, it usually becomes the mom’s focus. Tending to that child’s many needs is a time-consuming, enriching and exhausting endeavor. This can be exceptionally true if that child has any kind of a disability. “Perfect” or “Imperfect” children do not make for perfect mothering. The fact is no one is perfect. All mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers are learning on the job, they do some great stuff and they make mistakes, that is their human-ness! They may try to hard or do not try enough; they may smother, or be unpredictable, try to be a best friend or be laissez-faire. Mothers, again, are just human. If you have a mother-figure in your life, or you are a mother yourself, take a deep breath. Mothering is not easy. Being imperfect is perfectly okay. So to all the moms out there, you deserve more than just a day of recognition- Happy Mother’s Day Month!
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